There are plenty of studies that have found that people who live the longest are those who are able to bounce back positively after adversity. Mastering the art of resiliency, which is the ability to adapt well to stress, adversity, trauma or tragedy, is one of the most beneficial things you can work on throughout your life. Some people are naturally more resilient than others, but indeed everyone can develop healthier mindset habits that make them more resilient.
I think I’ve always been someone who adapts well to adversity, although I get farther and farther away from the memories of my youth so I’m hard pressed to remember specific examples from way back when. I do know of a situation that I reacted quite well to and I’m not sure I’ve given myself enough credit for it.
My friend Kirstin and I didn’t know each other long before we were making plans for a road trip to South Dakota. We packed up both cars. Her Four Runner had her dog and most of the camping gear. My little Corolla had what was left plus my two big dogs. We were completely excited with our tiny caravan…let the adventure begin!
Well, we didn’t get very far. We may have been driving 20 minutes before my car died. I cruised it to the side of the road having no idea what was wrong. But it was obvious it wasn’t going to start again. So here we were, on the side of a very busy highway with not enough space to open the passenger door. Kirstin parked her car further up where there was room and helped to get the dogs out since it was dangerous to be in the car so close to the cars whizzing by. I called AAA and we waited for a really long time. I can’t remember how long, but it was long. Our vacation was fading away. The tow truck came and towed my car to the nearest repair shop in Loveland, which was at least 20 miles away.
We camped nearby and then met the mechanic early the next morning. We found out that the oil plug wasn’t put back on after my last oil change, which I’d had right before leaving town. My engine was destroyed. I called the mechanic who did it and he took it straight to his insurance company, leaving me no space to get angry and throw a tantrum. Because I didn’t want to ruin someone else’s vacation, I was open to the idea of continuing on to North Dakota. In one car. So somehow we squeezed three dogs, and whatever items we needed from my car, into Kirstin’s Four Runner and hit the road. I left the car and the trauma in the hands of my old mechanic and my new one. It’s crazy to think about it now; how could I have left town before knowing what was going on with my car. How could I have even thought about having fun and spending money on a vacation when my car would need replacing when I got back??
I’m not sure if I would have continued on if I had been alone. I remember being really bummed out at times and wanting to complain about my situation whenever I thought about it. But I didn’t want to let Kirstin down, so I tried hard to just let it go. The further we got, the easier it was to forget. We really got to know each other being in one car, and it was during that trip that she became one of my closest friends. We ended up having some great laughs, some great adventures, and until the dogs started fighting at the end, some really great peaceful moments. During our drive towards our vacation, the old mechanic’s insurance company worked with my new mechanic, who kept me posted with what was going on. A few days later, he found a used engine and wanted my permission to order it and install it. Turns out, the insurance company was going to pay for everything. My car wasn’t ready by the time we got back from our trip, so they also paid for the rental car I drove around in until my car was ready. And the final reward for me staying calm during the whole fiasco? The used engine that was put in my car had 60,000 miles less than the original engine it replaced! I just added years to my aging car! How’s that for a big ole juicy lesson?
So the ordeal turned out for the best, on all counts. Who knows if it would have turned out so well had I hovered around and spread negative energy to anyone willing to give me the space to do so. I really do have to hand it to myself; it makes me happy knowing that I can choose not to stress over things that are out of my control. I just might live to be 100!
No way! That’s so funny. The whole time I was wondering how the heck you still wanted to move forward with the vacation! But I was thrilled you did. And you’re right, there wasn’t much you could do but wait and hear. At least we had fun while they took care of things. Next up: how to overcome the challenge of someone running over your borrowed camping stove. Ha! Love you Dawn.