Life’s transitions are hard. So hard that we sometimes cling to where we’re at rather than face change because staying stagnant is so much easier than going through the trauma and uncertainty of change. My friends Amy and Gregg recently moved from Denver to North Carolina just five months after their first baby was born. Gregg took a job at a company that moved them east quickly before the holidays and soon he found himself doing nothing at his desk for weeks on end. Every day he went to work and did more of nothing until he became so depressed about it, he wanted nothing except to move back to Denver. He ultimately became resistant to everything including the idea of pushing through the challenges they were facing. He started going to therapy and soon he began to change his perspective, deciding to be proactive at work and engage with other co-workers with the intention of learning other aspects of the project he was supposed to be working on . As a result and with better communication with Amy, things have completely changed for them. They’ve done a complete 180 and are now excited about finding a house, making new friends and settling into their new life.
It’s a great lesson in what’s necessary to get through some of life’s biggest transitions: a change of perspective. It’s not always possible to take your old perspective with you during a shift. And it’s really hard to realize that when you’re in the thick of things, especially when you’re dealing with such uncertainty. But the more you cling to the old, the more resistant you are to the new. And that resistance will prevent you from engaging in all the potential opportunities that are waiting for you. It’s incredibly important not to lose sight of the reasons for the transition and to keep the trust that you’ll end up better off when all is said and done. If you get caught up in the details and compare your new situation to where you were before the change, you’ll inevitably build up resistance to anything new and will succumb to hopelessness and disempowerment. But remember, we can’t stay stagnant. We should always be striving for better situations, greater opportunities and happier lives.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” — Anaïs Nin
