Earlier this year, I joined a group of people who wanted to sponsor a refugee family. We got matched to a large African family with a mother, 2 teenagers, 3 middle aged kids and 2 babies; without a doubt, it’s been a great and not-so-great experience all rolled into one. The family is lovely and the kids are hard not to fall in love with. And we as a group of volunteers have bonded in the process as well, which has been fun. Interestingly, the most difficulties we’ve experienced were with the agency responsible for the refugees, more so than with the family itself.
It’s amazing to look back to the beginning of our adventure 6 months ago and remember what level we were coming in on. We had such great visions: we wanted to plant a garden in what little dirt they had at their apartment, introduce them to healthy foods, find them a washer & dryer and to get them each involved with various communities. In reality, the level of help they needed was much more basic than those luxuries we wanted for them. They didn’t care about the veggie plants, and instead the back porch became a place to hang hand-washed clothes. They wanted fried chicken instead of the healthy stew one of us made for them when they arrived, and who were we to deny them of the privileges that America offered: fast food and bagged snacks? They quickly acquired ratty hand-me down furniture that soon clogged their small apartment, and any overflow items were thrown into a bedroom that they could have used for a couple members of the family, instead of being crammed into 3 rooms upstairs. They were also limited in what they could do financially, so we couldn’t enroll the kids in soccer or transport them to other activities in the area. It was a big lesson for us and after a few months of drama and trauma, we soon downgraded what we thought our role was to be. We left the details to the agency in charge of their medical appointments, school enrolling, food stamps, etc. Instead we just wanted to go and play with the kids. The excitement they still have when we come to visit is infectious, addictive and confirms that what they really need from us is love and support. And fun.
Regardless of the difficulties, the experience has reminded me how amazingly great we have it compared to others in the world. It’s good to be aware of the levels of need with the people around us and to recognize where our own problems sit in the greater scheme of things.
