Years ago, I received a “finders fee” from a friend who told me that I inspired her to ask a brave question that resulted in a contract for a job. I was stunned that someone would make such a tangible acknowledgement!
What a profound gesture of appreciation that was. I had already been navigating the often-deep waters of self-employment, and one of the most difficult things for me to get used to was accepting the generosity of others without feeling like I needed to pay them back.
The same was true for this experience. Almost immediately after receiving the money, I had to fight the urge to send it back or to somehow offer something that could justify the payment. I’m not sure if that comes from the feeling of guilt or unworthiness, but I suspect it’s something to overcome.
So I worked through this complicated feeling and realized how great I felt when being generous to someone else. It doesn’t feel good to be denied that, to have someone say “Thank you, but no thanks” to your offering. It truly does feel better to give than to receive. So how could I stand in the way of someone else’s feel-good action?
I still struggle with it at times, but I have really honed in on the lesson of accepting graciously. And to let it be contagious; paying it forward is the best response to generosity.
